I met a man today who wasn't really a man. He looked like a man and bled like a man, but inside he was a stranger. A traveler who had fooled Gaia into believing he would behave. I know these things because I spoke with him. If you ever chance to meet him, you'll know it too. He sat alone in the comfy chair in the corner of a coffee house by a river. He had no book or notepad to occupy him. He had no far off look in his eye suggesting wonderment. He just sat there with his cup in his hands quietly and politely observing humanity. I can't tell you why I decided to go and sit next to him. Its not my nature to intrude uninvited, yet I felt as if a magnet had a firm hold on me and there was only one direction.
As I walked towards him he regarded me as if I were an old friend who had just gotten up a moment ago to refill his cup. When I sat his eyes began to burn with curiosity like a child watching his favorite movie for the first time. He made no movements save for his grey eyes. After a moment he lifted his cup and took a sip, savored it, and swallowed. I did likewise. The chills ran up my back and sat on top of my head. They stayed there for a moment before running back down and across the floor to find someone else to shiver. I looked at him with a question in my mouth but without words to ask.
He said "My calm center left me today. It packed its bags and ran for the hills. I'm not sure how long I can bear its absence before I fail. Mother and Father will be disappointed, but I know somehow this time is different. There will be no substitutions or tap outs. No do-overs as you say. I sit here on the precipice with two paths before me. One of creation through destruction, one of destruction through creation. To choose one is to forfeit the other. To choose neither is still a choice. Some-when elsewhere I am just beginning, and another I have already completed. Before I arrived here I knew of these places and times, but now they are hidden by the bog mist of flesh that clutches about me. There are few exit ramps that lead away from this realm and I fear I have missed the last train before Gaia chooses a new child. Perhaps the bees will learn faster, but to be brutally honest, you were my favorite. The bare knuckle insanity to hold both life and death at once is a rare sight in creation. The blind ignorance to all the clues growing around you, and yet you still find your way through the darkness by lighting your own brother afire. The ironic dichotomy between genius and stupidity when one hand holds the other hand back from healing both. Cult classic.
I am a long way from home and I have not seen my kind for 3 lengths of your life. I may never again. I often wonder why they sent me to observe you knowing my tendency to meddle and my love for the sordid. I've considered that it is a test. Perhaps if I redeem you, I myself would receive redemption. Sadly I am too old to believe in redemption or forgiveness. However I do enjoy your bit about atheists in foxholes. That always gets me smiling. "
